Companionship crucial to people recovering from mental illness

Almost everybody remembers the joys and uncertainties of socializing. Dates and parties could be great, awkward, or downright disastrous. It's much more so for people recovering from mental illness.

"Rose" (not her real name) was dating a man who didn't know about her illness. She wanted him to know, but was terrified of rejection. One day, she left her medication where he could see it. He did, and fled without a word. She never saw him again.

It's hard enough coping with daily life, but it's even harder when feeling lonely and isolated. How do people find "friends"? They call The Friendship Network.

What is The Friendship Network?

Alice Cohen started The Friendship Network in 1991, inspired by problems of her son, who suffers from mental illness. Because loneliness and isolation can undermine recovery, Alice and her partner Berna Case want to alleviate the loneliness of people who have a mental illness.

Finding friendship with people in the "mainstream" is exceedingly difficult. "John" (not his real name) finds the most awkward question, and the first question women ask, is "What do you do?" Although John has a college degree, he has never worked. For twenty years, his full-time job was recovery.

At The Friendship Network, people recovering from mental illness can develop their social skills in a safe, nonthreatening environment. They share similar backgrounds and challenges. Through The Friendship Network, many find acceptance – and fun – for the first time in their lives.

By building self-confidence, members can expand their social lives beyond The Friendship Network. Or they can choose a gentler route and have a pen pal or a phone pal. Alice and Berna recognize the value of clubhouses, but offer an alternative for people who are highly anxious or fearful of socializing in larger groups and for those functioning on a higher level.

Who can join?

Adults suffering from schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or other personality or mood disorders can join. Members should be on medication and/or in a program, employed, or working as a volunteer. Alice and Berna are not professionals, so they consult with a social worker or the member's therapist if there's a problem.

How does it work?

Members fill out a detailed application that includes background, hobbies, and interests. Alice and Berna provide the introductions. On call, day or night, they help people get started with their friendships. They'll even make it easier by role-playing with people who may feel uneasy in social situations.

What do members do?

Members enjoy activities such as bowling, trips to museums, group tennis lessons, T'ai Chi classes, miniature golf, movies, and volunteering at the NAMI Queens/Nassau office. There are workshops on nutrition and building relationships. And when they're ready, members can make their own plans with their new friends.

For more information

The Friendship Network is sponsored by NAMI Queens/Nassau. Members come from the five boroughs, Long Island, Westchester, and New Jersey. If you would like more information, please call 516-326-6111, or check their Web site www.friendshipnetwork.org

One member sums it up straight from the heart, "People who have never had a friend before now have someone to call."